I went out for a walk on this beautiful balmy day in the middle of January in suburban New York. It was close to sixty degrees. I’d enjoyed a very nice day up until then. I’d watched my daughter play her first basketball game then washed the dishes, collected my dirty clothes, and completed some writing.

As I ventured out on this gorgeous day with my dog, I felt . . . angry. I didn’t exactly ...know why I was angry, but there it was, and there didn’t seem anything I could do about it. Even with the miracle of a warm January day in the New York, I was not enjoying it in the least.

I dared to ask, “Is this really anger?” and started to listen in. I poked at it with a stick and my first response was “Of course, it is.” But eventually, without me doing anything but giving my attention to it, the anger started to soften. When I had been holding the feeling at bay, it was anger, but when I dove down to be with it, I started feeling present. It was a pull, an undertow that brought me back into grace. Then I looked up and the sky wasn’t just the sky, it was an experience that included me. As I became one with my feelings, I saw beauty in the world around me – the trees and rocks and road became extensions of my own wonder

Have you ever made somebody the villain when the truth was that whatever you were involved with together just wasn’t for you?  Have you entered into a venture without giving yourself the permission to decide “This isn’t for me?”   Ouch!  That can hurt!  Some things just aren’t for me.

A Course in Miracles says "Every choice you make establishes your own identity as you will see it and believe it is." I think this is one reason why it is so important to make amends. By making amends you are telling yourself that you care enough about yourself to make your world right. If "they" like it, it's icing. Gotta go out and get those flowers for my wife now.

Where did I learn that if I just do everything right, somebody else will do my job of loving me?  Sanity tells me that only I can do my job.  It may be that I never will become famous for my writing or my music.  But when I enjoy what I am and what I do, I bring joy to others too.  By enjoying, I make a place for myself in the world.
(If you like these messages of self love, you can see past messages and by visiting my word press blog.)